My maternal grandmother purchased a nice set of porcelain dinnerware in 1953. That was back when ladies got all giddy over fine china. One of my grandmother’s sisters had the same set of dishes. Perhaps they were thinking they could lend each other matching teacups if either hosted a large gathering.

I’m certain my mother told me all the details related to the fine china numerous times over the years, but I didn’t really pay attention because she was talking about fine china and no one cares about fine china anymore.

Ten days before I was born, in 1972, my grandmother died. It’s a strange kind of grief for me to carry, because it comes with a sense that it began in utero. The idea of my mother’s sadness transferring to the fetal version of me is a little silly, of course, and probably manufactured entirely in my imagination, but still, my grandmother holds a heavy emotional sway with me for someone I never met. It is at least true that I entered the world into a family in mourning. Learning about it later is enough to make it a memory. When I see a photo of my grandmother or hear a story about her, it punches me in the gut because we came so close to meeting but never did. If a story about my grandmother involves fine china, however, my mind will wander because there are few things less interesting than fine china.

Last month, I led a class at the University of Minnesota Duluth’s University for Seniors titled “The Pursuit of Better Possibilities.” We explored how all of us can lead more meaningful and resilient lives in our 60s and beyond. In the class, we talked about the importance and value of being creative and connected as well as discovering ways to simply be present and curious.

During the last session, I showed an interview with Dr. Jane Goodall on Netflix where she spent the last six minutes looking directly into the camera and shared her last message to the world. This interview was not aired until after her death. Goodall talked about how each of us has an important role to play on this planet and that our lives matter. She reminded us that we are part of the natural world and proposed that we can make a difference in addressing climate change and responding to the destruction of the biodiversity on the planet. She encouraged us to do everything possible to make the world a better place.

In that same session, I played a scene from the movie Patch Adams where the main character is standing before a medical review board defending himself and declaring his desire to become a doctor. When a member of the board addresses  their concerns about his nontraditional approaches to helping patients and dealing with death, Patch states that death is not the enemy but that the most terrible disease of all is indifference.