Sharks Posts

Sharkgate: The Lake Superior Bull Shark Conspiracy

I confess to creating and posting the “Lake Superior Bull Shark Encounter” video which has rocked this community, even though, as is widely known, I have no credibility. This essay offers a full accounting of the affair, which caused a four-day firestorm as the video propagated online, through the media, and into the hallowed halls of academia.  I will debunk my own video to demonstrate it is, in fact, a poorly-made fake. In addition, I will carefully document my utter and total lack of credibility. Hopefully this will be enough to assuage an alleged army of enraged Redditors devoted to my destruction, the undead army I accidentally raised when I strapped on a toy shark fin.

My confession begins with my purchase of the toy. On Aug. 8, I posted a picture of myself wearing it on my personal public Facebook page and my public “Lake Superior Aquaman” Instagram account. The text of those posts reads, “It’s unclear where these rumors of sharks in Lake Superior originate. But I will be swimming up and down the beaches until I get to the bottom of it.” It was an open joke, a lark, an entrant to a well-established Duluth tradition of joking about sharks. You see variants on local bumper stickers such as “Shark-Free” on a map of Lake Superior. Keeping Lake Superior shark-free has even become a running joke among the mayoralty.

AP: Lake Superior Bull Shark Eradicated by Duluth Autonomous Navy

DULUTH, Minn. (AP) – On August 10, 2020, Duluth Mayor Emily Larson commissioned the Duluth Autonomous Navy to eradicate the bull shark terrorizing Duluth’s beaches. Only four days later, the DAN co-Admirals have announced “mission accomplished.”

Lake Superior Bull Shark encounter, Duluth MN, 8/8/20

[Update: Not a real shark! I’m writing it all up for my next Saturday essay at the end of August, stay tuned…]

Lake Superior Shark Pics


 

Shark Watching Society

I spent part of Wednesday in front of a bonfire setting marshmallows on fire. There is really no point to slowly toasting them when you can set them on fire, after all. It was a meeting of the Lake Superior Shark Watching Society.

Helmet Cam: Shark Pilot, Diorama-rama

What the Shark Pilot Helmet Cam saw.

Duluth Shark Infestation

Broken campaign promise by Mayor Ness exposed! End the cover-up!!

Flying Shark at Dioramarama, Sacred Heart

More Diorama shark videos on YouTube.