I became a spiritual orphan behind enemy lines,
a mosquito whispered in my ear that I'd always be alone
and that I'd never be abandoned

I will never be Anishinaabe
and I strive everyday to be Anishinaabe,
humble before the Creator

in the ravine, i bow my head
on the cliff, I bow my head

See how terrible I am? I'm sorry to anyone reading this. I will pray more.

My apology does not mean you are not an idiot

I'm going through it, having my white boy grieving session. I don't mean to hold onto this stuff or claim an identity but it happened. Writing about it, centers my white pain, I'm aware of this. But I'm going through it. Maybe I should privately. I don't know. 

What happened when I was a kid was that I went to Central Elementary school in Bemidji. I was good at learning Ojibwe and won an award for it. We danced around a drum in the gym and it was so much fun. The principal of our school thought kids should not do homework. In 3rd grade I was transferred to St. Philip's where I learned that hell is real. I'm coming to terms with how racism has wrecked my spirit, as a white person. 

It's a sickness. You can't place some people above other people without also having that attitude pervade your entire group. To me, family, friends and community are just a bunch of twisted personalities, only looking out for themselves, waiting for a chance to step on your head to boost themselves up. This is not the way for humans to live.