Sinkholes come to Duluth
By NateL on Aug 14, 2010 in Bitching, Outdoors, Total Bullshit, Weird Stuff
Maybe a month ago a hole appeared out of nowhere on the avenue in front of our house. Not a pothole mind you, more like a door leading to a banquet hall. I myself have examined it, as well as just about every curious soul in the neighborhood. I’ve even seen people throw their trash in it. At this point it’s roughly a foot in diameter, but opens up into quite a cavernous void directly below the asphalt. My wife can insert her leg up to her hip and fully extend it.
The city hasn’t shown much interest in fixing it, but probably a week ago it did put a fantastic orange warning sign over it, including a blinking light to shout warning to all those who travel along Ninth Avenue East. The problem is, is that the blinking light doesn’t work, nor does the nearest streetlight leaving it an extremely dark corner. The closest lamps are, well, a block away in all directions leaving this marker useless after dark.
Which brings me to the excitement of this eve. The sound of the neighborhood jackanapes knocking over the sign got our attention at around 11:30pm, but I didn’t pay much mind to it as of course, this isn’t the first time some goof pushed over the sign while walking down the street in the extreme darkness trying to impress a chick. What did turn my head was the sound of said sign throwing down fiery fisticuffs with the underbelly of a car not slowing for the yield sign. Plastic shattered, sparks flew, and metal screeched for several blocks before the driver stopped, looked under his car, and then kept driving until what looked like hitting a major pothole or “bump” in the road, dislodging what was left of the sign. I have yet to investigate the corpse, but I’m guessing I will see blaze orange extremities spread over a good 3 blocks on my way to work tomorrow.
After all this time of waiting to see or hear the front end of someone’s vehicle being devoured by the massive darkness beneath the city street it turned out to be a device of warning, placed to protect Duluth’s citizens, that has taken a victim.
And the sinkhole laughs, and waits.
*Writers note: The sign was nowhere to be seen this morning, which is unfortunate because I really wanted to see the carnage. Oh well, I’m sure this isn’t the last time this will happen.
I’d really love a photo of this sink hole. Sounds wondrous.
You should throw a neighborhood sink hole party.
The sinkhole could get expensive for the city of Duluth when some enterprising soul sues for car damages. That can be very expensive. Cheaper to dump in the gravel for a temp fix.
Kids? Time for some coerced spelunking?
He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you
Adam, really? Oooohhhh everyone, look at me, I can quote philosophy!!! I’m deep and mysterious.
I have some sweet pics, even found the carcass, but being a long time lurker 3rd time poster doesn’t allow to post images.
I am thinking about dropping a friendship capsule down there, so if anyone wants in … holla.
I’ve updated your status, NateL. You should now be able to go back and edit your post so that it includes photos.
Actually, all hole-in-the-ground posts require Nietzsche quotes.
I need a hole in the ground like I need another hole in the head?
A friend of mine checked it out and said he heard a wee small voice crying “help!” from the darkness below…didn’t have a small enough ladder or a rope so, I’ll just pass the information on….let your conscience be your guide as someone once said…patch or pray, who, can say on this fine “Fall” day…
Same thing where you turn onto Springvale off of Piedmont. Rain has been washing away the side of the road and the most recent little flood has revealed a cavernous space under Piedmont Ave.
I hope Duluth doesn’t slide down the hill.
Hope she didn’t fall in, she’s cute!