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The Onion Posts

Weak-willed Duluthian changes opinion

For the 14th time (by Perfect Duluth Day’s count) The Onion has published a story with a Duluth dateline.

The headline reads: Weak-willed coward changes opinion after learning he was wrong

According to the story, “33-year-old coward Benjamin Dyer gave in and changed his opinion … instead of doubling down on his previously held belief like a real man.”

Duluth cat potentially ready to freak out

Duluth cat potentially ready to freak outThe latest Duluth dateline in The Onion newspaper reports “It impossible to tell what sounds will freak out cat.” Apparently, “there seemed to be no clear pattern to the animal’s responses,” according to local pet owner Wendy Vogl. “I can slam the front door and he’ll just sit there licking himself, but then he’ll hear thunder and run out of the room immediately.”

Friend of Duluthian comes out of the woodwork

Duluth had another dateline in the Onion last week:

Long-silent Facebook friend comes out of woodwork with post asking about insulating windows

Duluth snubbed again as next Star Wars readies to film in London

Duluth snubbed again

I love the image, but I feel like I’m missing something.

Onion A.V. Club: Duluth snubbed yet again as the next Star Wars readies to film in London

Pinewood CEO Ivan Dunleavy made the announcement at the annual Confederation of Business Industry conference, boasting, “The seventh Star Wars movie just finished shooting at Pinewood. And I’m delighted to be able to tell you that a new Star Wars movie is already booked in.” His words were considered a direct affront to the fine people of Duluth, who have patiently waited decades for England to quit hogging all the Star Wars.

The Hollywood Reporter confirmed that Dunleavy was referring to the first Star Wars spinoff, to be directed by Gareth Edwards, and not the follow-up to J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars: The Force Awakens, But Not In Duluth, Because Fuck That Place.

Kink in Duluth

The Onion:
Masochist dog enjoys being walked around on leash while naked

Another Duluth dateline in the Onion

24-year-old receives sage counsel from venerable 27-year-old

DULUTH, MN-Generously bestowing the kind of wisdom that only comes with age, worldly and venerable 27-year-old Matthew Owen took the time last night to offer his enlightened counsel to 24-year-old family friend Dennis Paige.

Onion A.V. Club in Hibbing

The Onion A.V. Club’s Sean O’Neal travels to Hibbing in a video to soak up the Bob Dylan experience for the series Pop Pilgrims. There’s a nice look inside the Hibbing High School Auditorium — Minnesota’s second-nicest high-school auditorium.

The Onion’s take on the big game

Little boy from Duluth finds E. T.

The Onion: Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.