If it seems like the captain has been drinking, when in fact he's never touched a drop, yet he still doesn't exhibit the common sense of a workaday baboon, says fruit cup things over and over again until you've become inured while walking back all the dumbest lies you've ever heard, wait what was I talking about?

Oh yes, a clown ship zigzagging off course, taking on water, and sending the whole crew down with her. You know there's half a million pool drowning deaths in Minnesota every year?