The True Story of My High Seas Encounter with the Sheriff

The lake was calm and warm with a mild breeze blowing inland. I put out in Floyd, my patrol flamingo, and went upshore via flipper power. Then I drifted back toward town on the prevailing breeze.

I was out far enough that some concerned citizen must have thought I might be adrift, and they phoned the sheriff. First thing I noticed was his boat looked like a skull during it’s head-on approach, the boat’s markings looking like teeth. I recognized it as a police vessel, and then the word “sheriff” came into view as it pulled up.

“How can I help you, sheriff?” I asked. He explained he’d gotten a call about my safety and was just checking up. He seemed relieved I was wearing a wetsuit and flippers since that bespoke of my seriousness of purpose.

“Am I breaking any laws?” I asked.

He replied no, but advised me not to do this at night which would be more dangerous. I apologized for causing any concern, but he only laughed. Then he said, “Do you mind if I take your picture? This is a first.”

I allowed it. So that he might tag me later (still waiting), he asked, “Do you have a Facebook account?” And I said, “Yes. I am LAKE SUPERIOR AQUAMAN.”

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