The True Story of My High Seas Encounter with the Sheriff
- The approaching boat looked like a skull.
- Oh it’s the Sheriff.
- Can you believe this shit?
- Of course you can take my picture
- If impersonating a police officer is a crime, I’m going to need a lawyer
- Sheriff backs away — this is the best thing that ever happened to me
- Bye Sheriff! Good luck against evil
- No I cannot believe that just happened
The lake was calm and warm with a mild breeze blowing inland. I put out in Floyd, my patrol flamingo, and went upshore via flipper power. Then I drifted back toward town on the prevailing breeze.
I was out far enough that some concerned citizen must have thought I might be adrift, and they phoned the sheriff. First thing I noticed was his boat looked like a skull during it’s head-on approach, the boat’s markings looking like teeth. I recognized it as a police vessel, and then the word “sheriff” came into view as it pulled up.
“How can I help you, sheriff?” I asked. He explained he’d gotten a call about my safety and was just checking up. He seemed relieved I was wearing a wetsuit and flippers since that bespoke of my seriousness of purpose.
“Am I breaking any laws?” I asked.
He replied no, but advised me not to do this at night which would be more dangerous. I apologized for causing any concern, but he only laughed. Then he said, “Do you mind if I take your picture? This is a first.”
I allowed it. So that he might tag me later (still waiting), he asked, “Do you have a Facebook account?” And I said, “Yes. I am LAKE SUPERIOR AQUAMAN.”
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