Wait til spring ... you'll be beating them off with a stick.

Nothing new, dating up north is tough. After college few people stay in Duluth unless they have a career and serious relationship. That leaves just a few single people who only seem to meet by chance. As a nice single guy who is in shape and nearly finished with a masters degree dating shouldn't be this hard.

I agree, dating is tough in Duluth.  For a guy that is way out of shape, mildly employed, semi sober, and who has a degree from a nearly reputable university, I should be taken. ;)

The other sad part of it is that thing that runs through people's minds:  "Why is he (or she) still single?  Must be something wrong."  I'm married so I don't have to worry about that anymore, but yeah it is rough dating here.  

I guess what I did was just drink and party a lot and then ... oh wait, you probably don't want to do that.  The other thing that works is to go to lots of things and to have get-togethers.  This town is also bereft of good dinner parties.  There's a niche growth area for you that could end up killing two birds with one stone.

No doubt, if you don't already know people in town (or even if you do!) meeting people in Duluth is not easy. There are very few activities other than the bar/music scene, which for many people loses its gloss after you're like 28. 

I'm a normal (stable), reasonably attractive man with a decent job and lots of interests, and I've had zero luck meeting anyone in duluth after my last relationship ended three years ago. It doesn't help at all that I work at home, I've noticed that. It works a lot better to have a job that brings you in contact with the public.

Please. It's soooo easy to pick up somebody in a bar in this town. You are not trying hard enough. Get a turntable and some records. Whiskey and beer. Ask them to come back to your place. I promise you will "get some" as the kids are saying these days. Make sure you have coffee for the a.m. and be up on current events for morning musings. 

I'm a big dyke and still can get dates in Duh-luth. If I can, you can too.

I didn't hear enough sensitivity.  People forgot that all the things mentioned, plus cloistered midwesterners who are as cliquey as anyone, in their shallow gene pools, adding to this the low light levels during brutal winters can get a person pretty down when they start to consider the tired patterns of Homo Eroticus.  It's easy to throw down advice, once you're married and settled into your little group of friends who used to drink and screw with you back in college before you settled into domestic neutrality by decree. Whose 'group' hasn't taken on any new friends in the last six years, or thrown any good dinner parties that weren't boxed, and why would you with Dish? Yet pontificate wisely for someone who's reasonably wondering if this is normal, or just the sad biscuit of how Americans have become 'a little soft,' when compared with say,  an Apache?  Lacking the convictions of those who are hungry, yet questioning not their own. Heated garages, big screen televisions, robot dating, shag carpeting, F'n Twitter. 'You screwed my girlfriend so I'm going to drop you from my Facebook page!' The humanity.

I went to a small women's college in the early '80s -- which was a mile away from a small men's college. It was hard to know whether or not you were dating or just friends with someone -- basically, if you were sleeping with that person, you were dating. Otherwise, it was all pretty fuzzy. Duluth seems to be the same way.

So...  Where is it easy?

I think a lot of people are right, here. While the scene IS tough, it takes being involved and allowing yourself to "forget" that you are in search or a relationship so you can just be yourself and not stress about perceptions of others. 

A guy my age has to sort through a lot of the younger girls in search of their M.R.S. degree (the ones who feel that marriage is a crucial next step to life after school) to find a deep and authentic relationship-but that is all part of the fun. It is nice to commiserate with you all for a moment but I'm getting off my computer and going out skiing today, maybe I'll see you on the trails? =)

I was going to comment that I've never noticed that Duluth was difficult for finding dates, but then I realized I'm a girl-gamer: the math is in my favor (like shootin' fish in a barrel).

Hot Shot- 
 
I was JUST thinking the same thing!  PDD, I see an opportunity for you!  How about a cooler, hipper, Duluthified dating site?  Maybe we kick it off with a singles night?

I married my high school sweetheart so i've never had to "date" and would have no clue where to even begin. But i listen to all my single girlfriends complain about how hard it is to meet guy's who are actually worth dating. I always tell them they need to branch out their social scene. 

Try going to Duluth Chamber of Commerce events or for the younger crowd, their Fuse Duluth events.

Also, visit meetup.com -- there are a few Duluth social groups on there.

Match.com is laughable, as is Plenty O' Carp, and eHarmon(e)y. I've checked those (out of curiosity and doing a bit of study for a sociology class) and more out a few years back (and you don't get what you pay for - sometimes free is better - and paying can be worse - eH and Match are the best examples of that - not to mention those eH rejects), the same people are on each site (and still are from what friends have said), their profiles all read nearly exactly the same, nearly all are chicken to write or meet, much less leave their computers/houses - many are just plain scary, or scary looking, just want to hook-up, many are (secretly) married and cheating, more are substance abusers (mainly alcohol in this area), religious/other fanatics, have age/weight issues, are fixed on looks (supermodels or studs - not realizing how vapid those types usually are), and more. But there is someone for everyone...right?

True there are other ways, but most times even when you do volunteer, attend events, or get out socially, most people are 'with' someone, married, or undesirable for some other reason(s).

This isn't just the Northland though, as people from sites all over the US and even other countries say the same, many of them living in much larger or smaller cities than Duluth. Many aren't willing to travel even more than 5 miles (my 5mi radius is all college, married/family, or retired people - those are pretty slim pickings considering), or relocate which also greatly cuts their prospective dating pool. Not to mention the unemployed, those who don't drive (for various reasons), have some questionable living situation, or ex/children issues. 

Everyone has standards, and expectations, or there'd be no problem. But there does have to be an attraction. Even when seemingly attractive online - in person can be another story completely - same with meeting socially first, and finding out their 'issues' once dating - no situation is fully ideal. No location is fully ideal.

BUT as Bad Cat mentioned - there are niches - a girl gamer in a mainly guy gaming world = WIN. 

You have to find your niche.

Perhaps as mentioned PDD can set up a side/sister site Perfect Duluth Dating - and have monthly or bi-weekly event meet-ups -  or even just at the events listed here in this site. (Perhaps with a sign-up or some area of the event designated as PDD area/section for those interested.) There also should be a variety of meet-ups, not all at bars, or venues, but some that also may be for non-drinkers or free/cheap as well for those on limited budgets. (Such as walks, picnics, or meeting for those music or movies in the park - or a moonlight winter's hike, or a group fundraiser day for a local charity/foodshelf.) Then the singles here would know that at those events there'd be more of a chance of meeting other singles, or even the other people/regulars from this site as friends - which could be a bonus if nothing else (or scary too - thinking of some of the regulars whose comments I've read).

New friends are always good, and who knows, maybe one of your friends would be the 'perfect' fit for your new friend? Often times the best matches are made between friends who know the 'perfect' person, that perhaps your social circle didn't previously encompass.

Re: Bad cat and ruby2sd4y, what is a "girl gamer" or a "guy gamer"?

Agreed, Wildgoose.

My two bits? 

After living in this city for 8 years I am ready to move on.  I do not consider the dating scene to be non-existent, it just takes a little bit of effort on both parties to get the train moving (i.e. eye contact, quite possibly a smile!, introducing yourself, having a conversation and so on and so forth).  More importantly it's a matter of asking yourself "am I ready to meet someone new, exciting and fun?" -- "do I really want to start a new relationship, possibly even sexual?" I think you must ask yourself this prior to thinking a magic bunny will deliver your true love to your doorstep. I can remember in my early twenties when friends would think that every night they went out they were expecting to meet the womyn/man of their dreams, if you are in this boat, jump out fast.  Things tend to happen when you are not looking.  

Not sure what people mean when they say the "hook-up scene"?  Would that be when people have parties and unintentionally have sexual relations with a person(s) they thought were "cute" for five minutes?  More or less bars are the next stage in that process.  

Alas, I must be honest! For some time I have been consumed by some strange hope that a womyn I used to love will realize our love meant "oh so much more" and to express that love to me once again.  Humility good people. To any men or womyn out there in the same boat, don't waste your time, again jump ship, seriously. The person you were once with is no longer in love with you, they have changed and possibly resent their entire time they spent with you. Heartbreak aside, buck up, stop living in the past and take control of your life, wasting months on end thinking about the past and wishing it could have been different is like being tortured relentlessly by some freaky ghost.  Sure you may not be able to stop yourself every time a memory makes you want to bring them up, or the almost permanent/constant dreams of having sex with this person.  Like Curtis Mayfield would say just "move on up" out of it, would be my best advice.  

It's not as though there is a lack of beautiful and intelligent people in Duluth or the surrounding areas -- and maybe when everyone's thinking, "why is he/she still single? something must be wrong," it could be that not everyone here knows how long they are staying. I know it's difficult to grasp, but some people choose to be single; sanity, past experience, etc. etc. etc. all factor in.  

I fell in love and am still in love with Duluth, that love has been attributed to my time spent here and a relationship that developed and flourished some of the best times in my life.  For me, if you are living in the past, get out fast. San Francisco here I come. Cheerio.

How can you tell when a boy likes a girl? He stares at HER shoes. - Finnish Proverb

Wow! This is really great. I wasn't expecting this kind of reaction (maybe something along the lines of, "go to this basic bar, meet guys, visit park point!, etc, etc.").   There is some worthy advice and a lot of tough love, which most of us needs to hear sometimes.  

I agree that when you are "out on the town" it is super easy to hook-up if you want it here in Duluth.  A hook up can be whatever you want, from just kissing to full on knocking boots.   Although this statement may be lopsided towards the females.  Males usually have to work a little harder to get their hook-ups.   We (females) think we are entitled to perfection sometimes.   It's just that these types of drunken hook-ups rarely lead to a satisfying relationship.  Someone usually wants something more.  It's an old story.   

Dating can be difficult no matter where you live, and I think making it even a little more difficult is that it is now a multi-million (maybe billion?) dollar industry.  Just consider again all those dating sites promising happiness, Sex and the City re-run episodes, and countless self-help books about the subject (He's Just Not That Into You, anyone?).  How is anyone supposed to live up to any of that? 

Ugh, we can't and we shouldn't.   Dating is a lot of hubaloo with a side of constant bruised ego.  Meeting someone we like can make it worth it.  Rejoice! There are single people in Duluth! Take care of each other!   See you around!

Yes W.T.F. - Gamers in the game/gaming sense - be they video, online or at a gaming venue, RPG's, conventions or more. Groups similar to those who are into Ren (Renaissance festivals/costumes), Trekkies or Star Wars, Steam Punk, or the like.

@WTF: Yes, girl gamer as in "I can roll a d20 and slay the hell out of that dragon" rather than "Don't you want to buy me some new shoes?" gamer.

The "find your niche" advice could be used for any (non-nerdy) types as well. Guy wants to take a knitting class for the hell of it? No competition! Girl wants to hang out at the firing range? Hottest girl there! Guy at swing dance lessons? Fighting the women off.
Go outside of your normal realm, experiment and have fun - you might meet someone special you might never have crossed paths with otherwise.

... as opposed to Duluth where everyone is looking for someone who doesn't think he/she is anything special -- 

Why the clean shirt today, we're just going to 'the looch' who does he think he is?

She's gonna get those new heels all covered in salt and grime stepping over the snowbank on the way into Quinlans, and I sure am not gonna throw my back out lifing her over the snowbank.

or my all time favorite

What's with the jacket and tie?  Is he gay?

Good lord. You men are not looking hard enough. And the quasi-dating posts/pleas are pathetic. ("I'm a smart, well built, good looking, blah, blah, blah). Men, here's your post-college field guide.

Granola Girls from the North Shore - Can you fake your knowledge of Kerouac? Are you from "The Cities" or live in a hipster city? "Ooh my gosh, you live SEATTLE (or Portland or Austin or Asheville?). You are in like Flynn. Built for speed or comfort. Mercurial. Habitat: slum bars near downtown or occasionally Superior, N. Shore tourist traps in summer, art exhibitions, picnics, faux hipster coffee shops and nature trails.

New Doctors and Nurses - if you are not intimidated by a woman who makes more than you (I'm not) and you are willing to be a house husband with an allowance, this is your scene. College degree required. Handyman skills are a must. Your ass is gonna be busy. First year doctors/nurses are a no-go. Too focused on work. They get get lonely in the second year. Built for speed, not comfort. Habitat: running races, XC ski trails, respectable bars with patios during happy hour.

Rangers - Iron Range women are easily identified by their birthing hips. Their career aspirations will sink if they think you will marry them. Very stable and loyal. Limited world view. Low maintenance and easy going. Lack of physical exertion is an issue after child birth. Dad and brothers drink too much. Built for comfort, not speed. Habitat: Grandmas. Dance bars. Summer street dances in their home towns.

West End Cougar - Fun, fun, fun, but keep it a limited engagement because of ongoing complications such as loser ex-husband, wild children and her binge drinking. Will make you crazy at the end of your relationship, but not before. Habitiat: bar (i.e. her workplace), Sports Garden, Blues Fest.

Almost Graduated - Bored Cities girl who is looking to date a townie for a change. Entertain them, OK? They don't want to get married yet, but you better be marriage material. Free places to stay when visiting the Twin Cities. Be on your toes. Built for speed or comfort. Habitat: waitressing at Hacienda del Sol or Grandmas. Fitgers. Starbucks. Park Point with visitors.

East End Townie - This is a very rare species. UMD grad. Family has deep roots. Attractive in an exotic scandanavian way. This species can be segmented further into a wild child, a homebody or a slacker. Dad and/or Mom own a well known business like a ski shop, gas stations, liquor stores or the like. Has propensity to either party too much, let themselves go by age 30 if they are not married. Habitat: rare sightings at townie bars downtown (only for short periods) and locals-only parties.

My friends and I discuss this often as we are cute (yeah, that sounds bad in my head too) grad students. Duluth has little to no young, attractive, educated, single men. We go out, meet men, and get hit on often, but our main aggressors are 22 year old undergrads or 30 something no-collegers. We absolutely love this city and would like to stay here, but we know that the sad truth is that we will have to move to a larger city to meet men that match us.
We joke about how wanting to leave this town to finally meet a man helps motivate us to finish our M.S.s, but it is a sad true fact.

Just lower those standards. Trade the salary for an artistic niche. 
Most my age are involved in their destined-to-be-eternal college romance, or dudes trying to get lucky. 

In the last five years I've had some awesome girls fall into my lap, but now is the time to start from scratch. Knowing a load of people is sort of a curse. Being a new kid on the scene will likely help in meeting folks.

Sorry to take an off-topic swerve here, folks, but I'd like to make a clarification for HE:

Many of UMD's adjunct faculty members, particularly in the Composition Department, hold a Masters and not a Ph.D. They are non-tenure track positions, often hired on a semester-to-semeter basis, and, with few exceptions teach strictly undergraduate courses—often the courses the tenure-tract Ph.D.'s don't want to teach (like freshman comp, but of course no one *wants* to teach freshman comp). And of course of course, in a creative field such as writing or the visual or performing arts, the Masters of Fine Arts is a terminal degree, on par with a Ph.D. And of course of course of course the University is made up of many "colleges" and "schools": The College of Liberal Arts, The College of Science and Engineering, The School of Fine Arts, The Big-Time Donator Name School of Economics, etc.

Hope that opens up the dating field for you! Now, back to our regularly scheduled program.

Flattered Jill, but now that I'm over the hill at 33, and my Johnson isn't what it used to be, I'm purely a man of intellect.  Plus, the Mothership will be picking me up in a few days to reunite me with Jimi Hendrix, so I don't have much more time for earthly concerns, or those snotty Masters chicks who watch too much Sex and the City (no offense if you are one.)
Sincerely, Frank

Is here any point to discussing the dating "scene" for a straight woman over 60 with "young" and interesting sensibilities???  I meet lots of very nice lesbians!

The dating situation is terrible in Duluth if you have anything even resembling standards. To those who are saying people just need to get out more, they don't know what they are talking about. All you meet their are friends not dating relationships. Basically, if you moved up here, get used to being alone for a long while. Further, I really don't think that more jobs would help much considering the poor dating pool that already exists. The people leaving weren't much better than the people staying.