A fecal coliform (British: faecal coliform) is a facultatively anaerobic, rod-shaped, gram-negative, non-sporulating bacterium. Coliform bacteria generally originate in the intestines of warm-blooded animals and can be found in and around the shores of old Duluth in the summertime, where free divers must hold their mouths closed for extended periods of time to avoid ingesting this insidious pestilence.