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Not so sweet

To bank tellers, store clerks and post-office-counter workers:

Don’t ask my children if they want candy. And while you’re at it, and even though it’s far more appropriate, don’t ask me, in front of the children, whether they may have candy.

If it were 1931 and candy were a rare treat I couldn’t afford, it might be cool to get free candy. But candy is cheap, and my children don’t need more.

My children are not deprived of sweets. We have baskets full of Easter candy, stockings full at Christmas, Valentine’s candy, birthday treats, and fat pillowcases at Halloween. I realize that another lollipop isn’t going to tip the scales. But the 13 grams of sugar and Red No. 40 aren’t the only issues; it’s also about the message it sends.

When my 6-year-old daughter slammed the minivan door on her fingers, and I took her to urgent care, I thanked the receptionist who asked me whether she could have a lollipop, and I gladly accepted. But when the children’s only accomplishment is standing in line to watch their mother buy stamps, they don’t need a treat for that. I don’t want them thinking that candy is something you eat all the time. I don’t want them eating treats that, seconds ago, they were fine without, but now that it has fallen in their laps, they suddenly want.

Candy-givers, I know you mean well. But you risk taking well-behaved, happy children and turning them into crabby children on a sugar rush, or discontented children who feel like they’re missing out because mom said no to the free sugar.

The ubiquitous candy bowls and offers of treats are wearing on me. Please, make it stop.

113 Comments

Winston

about 8 years ago

Sounds like you've been eating too many sour balls.

Kevin

about 8 years ago

I was at the bank with my two year old daughter, the teller began to ask the question, and I said, oh, please only a sticker, trying to cover up the 'sucker' with my voice, but she gave us both anyway.  Of course my daughter sees it and wants it, darn it, going through the drive-through from now on.  Genetically modified sugar beet sweetened corn syrup solid sweets, grrrr.

funkenschutz

about 8 years ago

I kinda liked that message when I was a kid.

davids

about 8 years ago

Have to say, with a kid who is so allergic to most things, including corn syrup, that eating them makes him scratch his face off, stay awake all night, or lose control of his eliminatory integrity, I'm with Beverly on this one. Please stop making them feel like random offerings from casual encounters are something they either 1) crave; or 2) feel like they are being deprived of...

... and, while we're at it, what's with structuring public school so that if he delivers a certain number of homework assignments on time he gets a coupon reward from some fast-food pizza joint that offers trademarked things to eat that are 1) really non-food edible substances lacking any nutritional value; and 2) not anything he could ever put his lips around anyway without causing skin convulsions? What happened to educating for the sake of teaching useful skills, or at least how to have fun while not destroying other kids' sand castles?

hbh1

about 8 years ago

If you could visit as many classrooms as I have, you'd be more worried about the Soviet-style candy-reward system that happens regularly there. I think the school district teachers keep Sams Club's candy aisle in business.

(Why yes, it does concern me that Morgan Park School meets their children at the door each morning with a candy sales rack. Tradition sometimes sucks.)

Andrew O

about 8 years ago

Is this post a joke?  Complaining about someone giving a child candy to be nice?  Do you complain about sunshine and rainbows too?

"Soviet-style candy-reward system" - This thread is the biggest joke I have ever read.  

Why don't you complain about the beautiful weather we have had the past three days while you are at it.

in.dog.neato

about 8 years ago

It's not a joke. When (or if) you're lucky enough to procreate, this will all make perfect sense.

The writer isn't even touching the false trust that kids learn by strangers giving them treats. It's a perfect setup for some potentially tragic outcomes.

Andrew O

about 8 years ago

Having an opinion on an issue like this is one thing, but posting a giant rant complaining about old women giving a kid candy is another.  If this is for real it is sad.

Ramos

about 8 years ago

Tell them your kids only accept money.

wildgoose

about 8 years ago

I'm ambivalent. Thanks for the cognitive dissonance though.  Sifting through my thoughts feelings and memories will make for a fun project; maybe I'll just wrestle with that stuff instead of the housework.

Well written post.

+1 to HBH for using Soviet-style, Morgan Park and candy in the same comment.

Paul Lundgren

about 8 years ago

I'm giving the win to Ramos.

Claire

about 8 years ago

I so agree, Beverly,  it totally bugs me about people offering my kid candy like that for no reason. And it happens **everywhere** even at SMDC's allergy clinic! HBH is correct about the Duluth schools plying kids with candy -- during the state testing for "No Child Left Behind" the kid would come home, telling us that there were dishes of candy in the classroom, meant to get the kids all jazzed up before they took the tests. And the school's playground supervisor would give his favorites (all girls) candy. We complained and you know what happened? He'd continue to give girls candy, he just wouldn't give any to my kid. Which was fine by me, but  upset the kid. When I was in grade school, the nuns would never give us candy. It was a rare treat, not something easily available whenever I left the house. I like Ramos' suggestion of asking for cash instead. I should try that next time.

Sam

about 8 years ago

Whether or not the individuals giving out the candy know it or not, they are just part of what companies consider sound kid marketing strategies.  Candy now makes the child have a warm and fuzzy feeling about the office or product, and this feeling will last through adulthood.  Kids can also influence parent decisions about products, and the kids will prefer the product as an adult.  There is a ton of psychological evidence for this: candy is cheap and it works to get loyal lifelong consumers of a product.

"Kids are tomorrow's consumer - tomorrow's adult consumer - so start talking with them now, build that relationship when they're younger, and you've got them as an adult." -Child Advertising Expert Lucy Hughes, who works on Child Marketing Psychology 

http://youtu.be/Hi63rXnuWbw

"Psychologists and anthropologists and sociologists and behavioral scientists are used by marketers to really shape and cement children's brand preferences. They want to be part of the fabric of children's lives." -Enola Aird, Child Marketer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1337599/quotes

Barrett Chase

about 8 years ago

I'm just ticked off that they don't offer candy to me.

mrashley

about 8 years ago

I remember my daughter getting coupons to Pizza Hut for reading.  If you are upset about which businesses are donating then complain to the resturaunts and places you shop and encourage them to donate as well.  And if candy being offered to your kid is the worst thing that is happening then it's a pretty darn good day or week.

Danny G

about 8 years ago

I miss Mr. Bulky's.

michellep

about 8 years ago

I love candy.  A lot.  

As a former educator, I will say that the school I was employed at (not a Duluth Public School) did provide hard candy/allowed students to bring in hard candy during standardized testing.  

Testing days are stressful.  Here is a link to a study that shows that gum chewing/hard candy can improve attention during standardized testing.  Other studies have been conducted to see if gum chewing/hard candy can improve memory, but those studies are less conclusive.  If you begrudge a kid a lemon drop(granted they are not allergic) while staying still in one spot for 4 hours I think you might be the devil.  

Effects of chewing gum on mood, learning, memory and performance of an intelligence test

Oh, and this should in no way be construed as my endorsement for standardized testing.

yup

about 8 years ago

The terrorists use candy to win over American children. It's true.

c-freak

about 8 years ago

I want candy.

Danny G

about 8 years ago

"The terrorists use candy to win over American children. It's true."

Brilliant!

Claire

about 8 years ago

michellep, I see your point, but the kids were instructed by the teachers, my kid said, to chow down on the sugar in prep for the test. I'm fine with gum or hard candy to reduce stress, but don't shoot the stuff into people's veins!

udarnik

about 8 years ago

Good post, Beverly, and I strongly agree.

My kids used to beg and beg to go the "beer store" because they knew they'd get a lollipop there. That always sounded great when we were running a bunch of errands and the 8- and 4-year-old would be saying loudly, "Can we go to the beer store now?  NOW? BEER STORE NOW? WHEN ARE WE GOING TO THE BEER STORE, MOM? YOU ALWAYS GO TO THE BEER STORE AFTER THE GROCERY STORE!"

Barrett Chase

about 8 years ago

Just curious: How many pieces of candy are we actually talking about here? How many pieces, during the course of one week, are being offered by bank tellers and the like?

udarnik

about 8 years ago

Also, I remember not noticing this at all until I had kids.

udarnik

about 8 years ago

If I take my kid in for a doctor's appointment, then hit the bank, the grocery store and then the muni, three people will offer my kid candy.

Barrett Chase

about 8 years ago

Okay, so that's potentially three pieces of candy in one day. But how many in a week? A month? I'm looking for an actual number.

Claire

about 8 years ago

Udarnik, I know exactly which "beer store" you are talking about. My kid was the same way there, in fact, she'd start asking them to give her candy before they could even offer it to her! Needless to say, I stopped taking her along when doing a liquor run.

scoe

about 8 years ago

Kids around the poolside screaming like cats on fire. Cats on fire chasing after the ice cream van. But that circus music's got to be hell on the ice cream man.

udarnik

about 8 years ago

Well, it depends on what kinds of errands you're running.  Some insurance agents will have candy, some won't. Some vets do, some don't.  At some places (eye doctor, lawyer, retail shops), the secretary or counter worker will offer something from the personal stash just because you have a kid; other places have a bowl on the counter for everyone.  

So IME, it's hard to quantify.  But in places where you go often (see also "beer store"), it becomes a drag.  And it's not even the amount of candy, it's the fact that it's always there.

And I'll admit it, I hate being set up to be the bad guy and say no.

udarnik

about 8 years ago

Claire, the beer store I'm talking about isn't in Duluth, but maybe it's the same one.

Bad Cat!

about 8 years ago

Wow, I hope that I never try to make your day a little nicer.
I enjoy places that do a little extra in order to make my time there a little more pleasant. When drive-through windows and pizza guys give my dogs a biscuit, I appreciate it and think it's nice. Even if I did not want my dogs to have a treat for whatever reason (weight, health, behavior, etc.), I would say "Thanks, but my dog can't have a treat," and still view it as a nice thing (like a normal human being).

True, a dog is not the same as a child (I can legally lock my dog in the basement when I leave), but asking a parent if the child can have a small piece of candy is a nice thing, even if you choose not to take advantage of it (which I can totally understand and respect).

Bitching about some place giving candy directly to your child without asking your permission is crappy and should be bitched about, but offering an extra nicety and waiting for your permission should not.

I totally understand that it puts you in a difficult position of having to explain to your child why you turned down free candy, but this is what being a parent is all about. Parents go through most of their lives saying "no" to the ridiculous requests that their children ask for. Being able to say "candy isn't healthy for you," "you are allergic to that," "we're just about to have supper," or "we don't accept candy from strangers" shouldn't produce a blog-worthy rage. Yes, we need to move away from candy as a reward system, but getting pissed at your bank teller isn't going to get us anywhere.

Sherman

about 8 years ago

Arizona Senator Jon Kyl gives candy to kids in order to lure them into his bitchin' van.

This was not intended to be a factual statement.

Bad Cat!

about 8 years ago

"Bitching about some place giving candy directly to your child without asking your permission is crappy and should be bitched about"

Clarification: people who give your child anything without asking permission should be bitched at (my sleepy brain is not clear this morning)

jessige

about 8 years ago

+1 Sherman.

I look at the candy-giving thing as an opportunity to teach good manners.  If my daughter hasn't had any candy that day, I tell her to go ahead and to say thank you.  If she's already had some, I tell her no more and she's expected to say no thank you.

I agree, when people just do it without asking me it irritates me, but in general, there are worse things than my daughter having one more tootsie roll.  I tend to think that the places that offer are more child-friendly, and I appreciate that attitude.

Beverly

about 8 years ago

1. This post is not a joke; it's a rant.

2. I love sunshine and rainbows.

3. Candy is not the worst thing happening.

4. I tried to quantify it, feared I was exaggerating and then left that part out. Yesterday we were offered two lollipops. The day before it was one. I'd say, on average, it happens twice a week.

Because I'm homeschooling, I thought it happened more to me because the kids are always with me when I'm running errands. Some of the comments above would tell me that it happens in school, too. My oldest son just started school. I'll ask him about that.

5. I don't think this is something you'd notice unless you have kids. I'm not patronizing anyone; I'm just saying that it's easy to change your point of view when you're responsible for feeding a 2-year-old, for example. Consider an adult's 2,000-calorie-a-day diet, and a lollipop is a drop in the bucket. But consider the small amount of food little kids eat, and a lollipop could be enough that they don't want to eat lunch.

6. I don't live in fear, but I agree it's good to teach kids not to take candy from strangers. Cliché but true.

brian

about 8 years ago

The liquor store / candy combination is my favorite. That's America at its finest.

What irks me is when I drag the rugrats along to the liquor store planning to nab some free candy. About half the time, the cashier is somehow oblivious to my drooling kids leaning over the counter, staring at the tupperware bucket full of dum dums on the shelf under the cash register.

Then I have to decide if I should gesture at the goodie bowl, then back to the kids, or be blantant and say something like "I'll wipe up this slobber if they can have a sucker."

Claire

about 8 years ago

Udarnik, it's Mt Royal Liquors in my experience. 

What I would do when my kid was offered candy in front of me anywhere, was to accept it and then tell my kid she couldn't eat it until after her next meal. Except at the allergy clinic, where she *earned* that lollipop every time and I let her have it then and there.

That's why the schools giving out candy when I was not there to put some controls on it really ticked me off. And it's not just one or two schools in Duluth, it seems to be all of ISD 709.

Deke

about 8 years ago

"Consider an adult's 2,000-calorie-a-day diet, and a lollipop is a drop in the bucket. But consider the small amount of food little kids eat, and a lollipop could be enough that they don't want to eat lunch."

Are they being handed those enormous Slo-Poke suckers they used to give away at the fair??? If so let us know where...I haven't had lunch-on-a-stick in a long time.

Jadiaz

about 8 years ago

Taking your kid on a trek through aisles of booze is fine, but damn the person working for offering them a piece of candy! 

And offering fast food (like when book-it does Pizza Hut person pizzas) for reading books or something is obviously the height of evil. How dare a child not eat healthy constantly.

Twice a week is two times too many for a child to be offered candy. I say we march on the State Capitol and demand that the Governor pass legislation banning candy from the state! 

Next, we can push to have toys taken out of kids meals at fast food restaurants because then kids won't demand them and their parents won't have to worry about being good parents and saying no.

After that passes, we go after crayons at places like Perkins.

Parents can't be expected to be parents without the states help, and kids should never be allowed anything that can give them any sense of good childhood memories. The children must be over protected!

mrashley

about 8 years ago

And don't get me started on those fat cat bankers that can afford to give free candy away.  Send a message to your representative and tell them no gov't bailout money when you can afford to give away candy and pens for free.  Also, have you seen some of these families that go around to all the banks and collect free candy.  I even heard that some people have kids just so they can collect more candy.

Bad Cat wins with it's called being a parent.  And yes I have a 2 year old and a 19 year old.

iiveey

about 8 years ago

As we run errands my kid can get 3 offers of candy, (+ 2 dog biscuits for the dog) in 15 minutes. Then we can go to the "beer store". 

It is a real problem. 

The sugar reward system at school is also a problem.  I have talked to my kid about it quite a bit. That it has nothing of value for her body, etc.

We say "no thanks" to multiple, cheap candy offers.  Then we go and get a nice dark chocolate bar to savor over several days. I know it wouldn't work for everyone, but I am creating a candy (and food) snob.

Heaven help the poor kid that tries to woo her with a cheap box of chocolates!

Tamara

about 8 years ago

Barrett: You could average 50+ pieces/child/month (loose estimate) if you are a person who has lots of errands to run.

I agree with Beverly. Aside from the potential trips to the dentist these businesses are encouraging, and the fact that they're totally ignoring the "don't take candy from strangers" rule, they're contributing to the poor behavior and the fattening up of kids.

You may say that it's only one tiny Dum-Dum sucker, how bad could it be? 

Well, every time a parent doesn't let a previously well-behaved child have a sucker/Tootsie Roll/whatever, it prompts an immediate whine and sometimes tantrum, causing all the other previously undisturbed patrons to have cranky bad thoughts toward the most-likely frazzled parent just trying to get his/her errands done.

And by offering sugary treats between meals, it reinforces bad eating habits.

Am I overstating things? Possibly. But at three candies a day, a few times a week, that's a lot of extra sugar/calories those kids don't need. Not to mention the extra tantrums the parents don't need.

If businesses feel they must hand things out to children, they should switch to stickers, but nothing at all is best.

Danny G

about 8 years ago

How many trees have to die to create those stickers?

Baci

about 8 years ago

I won't even bring up free food at Cub ... whoops.

davids

about 8 years ago

Okay, I want to see a story in the DNT--with two photos, one with the caption "Duluthians Disgruntled by Strangers Giving Kids Candy" and a second, "Other Duluthians Disgruntled by Duluthians Disgruntled by Strangers Giving Kids Candy."

Arms must be crossed, frowns on all sides.

I couldn't find the earlier post about the prevalence of such photos, but this topic seems to becoming ripe for such a take. 

Seems classic that a blog post trying to get people to think more clearly about social behaviors (giving away candy) gets turned into a chance for some people to make smarmy comments about how parents should be more responsible, or that people who raise objections to certain things in our social habits must always be whiners who want the state to regulate other people's lives. Welcome to what passes as civil discourse on the Interwebs.

adam

about 8 years ago

I like candy.

In Soviet Russia, the candy-reward system eats you.

"...gum chewing/hard candy can improve attention during standardized testing. Said it before, and I'll say it again: take tests like you study.

Bad Cat!

about 8 years ago

Have you thought about taking the offered candy and saving it for a special occasion?

You could have Halloween in the spring, or as a "good job, you ate all your peas, you can pick out a piece of candy for dessert".

And I know how completely annoying it must be to get parenting advice from non-parents, but the ability to say "no" to children seems like a basic requirement. I remember asking for all kinds of weird/impractical/dangerous items as a child and having my parents say "no." Once I was done with mega-tantrum, I forgot about it and moved on.

Bad Cat!

about 8 years ago

"Said it before, and I'll say it again: take tests like you study."

Drunk??

dbrewing

about 8 years ago

If you don't want your child to eat candy do not allow them to eat it.

Paul Lundgren

about 8 years ago

It's like some of you don't even know what a rant is.

udarnik

about 8 years ago

And I too hate the pizza coupon for reading.

Claire

about 8 years ago

Jadiaz wrote sarcastically,"... kids should never be allowed anything that can give them any sense of good childhood memories...."

I really don't think being offered candy by a stranger at the doctor's office, at the liquor store, or at the bank is going to provide my kid with happy memories. What she **will** remember is Halloween and walking up and down Grand View Ave, getting candy; Easter, and searching for eggs and getting candy; Christmas, and getting presents and candy. The candy is one reason these holidays are special. To get candy from strangers whenever she leaves the house kinda ruins the specialness. It's like, when I was a kid, my parents let us have root beer (no other sodas) only on birthdays. *That* made it special to me, if I had root beer all the time when I was a kid, I wouldn't think of it as fondly as I still do. Because I associate it with happy memories, not with going to the grocery store or the bank with my parents.

doubledutch

about 8 years ago

Yay!  I love this rant, even though we generally accept the candy - that's because our situation is a little different.  My kids are in full-time daycare and I try to run errands solo on my lunch hour just for my own sanity.  If I do have my kids, we take the candy because it is, in that case, a treat (versus kids who are running around with their parents on multiple errands, multiple days a week . . . that's a lot of candy).

I just want to say, though, that I have noticed a lot of people will subtly ask me first.  They'll kind of lift the candy slightly above the counter where my short people can't see, and say, "Can they, uh . . .?" which is so nice!  Also some places do have non-candy treats, like MCCU.  This is an awesome trend.  

Saying no is easy.  Completing the rest of your errands with a disappointed child (or two or three) can be more of a challenge.  Being able to remind your kid of an alternate snack that they have waiting in the car or at home can really help!  (As I do when I get myself a coffee and deny my kids the zillion dollar hot chocolates and cookies.)

Francene Starr

about 8 years ago

As a non-parent, I find this discussion funny.

George

about 8 years ago

I agree totally with the original post, and many of the comments added.  I have actually stopped going to some businesses because they do it.  I am not ready to give up my favorite local hardware store, though.  Principles only go so far.

I am definitely looking forward to using the two suggested responses though.  "My children don't take candy from strangers" or "My children only take money from strangers".

@Bad Cat - You are clearly not a parent.  That would immediately lead to them never eating peas unless you gave them candy.

Barrett Chase

about 8 years ago

This is going to sound more judgy than I want it to, but I truly am just trying to understand this.

I can't imagine running 50 errands in a month. If I had to run 50 errands in a month, that would mean I was doing a lot of things wrong.

I'm trying to mentally list 50 errands that a person might run, and I can't. 

With direct deposit and online banking, do you need to physically go to a bank that often? How often does one physically visit an insurance agent, really? For me, it was once. 

There's various doctor visits and such, but hopefully you aren't going there dozens of times per month. If you are, candy is the least of your problems.

How many times a month does one buy stamps, really? I guess if you have a home business you might have occasion to frequently visit the post office to send off parcels.

But 50 errands a month for an average person? Not to hijack the discussion, but I truly don't understand what all these errands are.

Wilko

about 8 years ago

Barrett: Today - Took my son to a doctor's appointment, took my daughter to Walgreen's to get some poster paper, mailed some letters at the post office (for which you should be grateful), took my dead Gateway Pentium III machine to John's Recycling, and made a bank deposit. This was a light day, but the potential is there for well over 100 errands/mo with a kid/kids in tow.

Someone offering to give your kid something without asking you first is bad form. At Marshall Hardware they do it right -- clerk asks discreetly if it's OK whilst the kid is looking elsewhere.

Danny G

about 8 years ago

This is my 3rd favorite PDD thread ever.

udarnik

about 8 years ago

You forgot the liquor store, Barrett.  That's what ups it for me.

udarnik

about 8 years ago

I'll chase that errand thing some more:

I started thinking about when I go to the bank.  I've gone into it three times in the past month -- to get something notarized, to get rolls of quarters and to sign a check in person.  But I go through the drive-through at least once a week because as a freelancer, I receive the majority of my income as checks.

I don't want this to sound all Secret Parent Club the same way Barrett didn't want to sound (and didn't, IMO) judgy, but running errands -- in fact, the whole flow of one's life -- is different with kids.  I'm out and about almost every day taking kids to events or friends' houses anyway, so I might as well swing by and grab that one thing I remembered I needed at the hardware store, even though I was just there five days ago.  It makes more sense than making a twice-a-month chore day like I did back in my single days -- take a Saturday and do all the laundry, change the oil, do the shopping, deposit the paycheck, and so on.

Claire

about 8 years ago

Exactly... I can't count the number of times the kid says "I need this, I need that" and it's like right away -- even though we'd run errands the day before.

Barrett Chase

about 8 years ago

That makes sense, but it's all outside my experience. I do make frequent trips to the supermarket and Menard's after work, but not counting those, I rarely have to run any errands.

The life of a self-employed person/freelancer also probably involves way more errands than a person with a regular job.

Chris Smith

about 8 years ago

"Candy-givers, I know you mean well. But you risk taking well-behaved, happy children and turning them into crabby children on a sugar rush, or discontented children who feel like they're missing out because mom said no to the free sugar."
If you haven't raised your kids to get over it quickly and politely when you say no, then you deserve all the candy-giver-exposure you get.

Tazmanian Devils' Mom

about 8 years ago

Gosh...I run a ton of errands on a daily basis with my boys and we are NEVER offered candy.    Maybe this is because my kids are usually: (1) either already crying before I would even need to politely say no to candy (due to severe allergies) or (2) are wild as heck and people likely know not to add sugar to an already out of control situation.

Henry Jenkins

about 8 years ago

From my experiences as a child, which was quite recently (debatably, still happening, I have never been offered fifty pieces of candy in a month, and my parents, being a small business owner, and self employed contractor, run a LOT of errands. 

I think the candy aisle in stores is a much bigger problem, along with the candy by the counter, although if you can control your child, none of these should really be a big problem. 

Also, the candy from strangers argument is pretty irrelevant, since I highly doubt any business is out to get your kids. 

Also also, quite frankly, I fucking love candy.

Henry Jenkins

about 8 years ago

*(debatably still happening)

Beverly

about 8 years ago

Barrett, my personal estimation for how often a clerk, etc., offers my kids candy is twice a week. The implied offer of candy is greater if you count candy dishes that are set out. I sold a bunch of stuff on ebay recently, so I was at the post office more than usual. I also get checks for freelance work, and the kids will sometimes get $10 checks from relatives, so the bank drive-thru comes up about once a week. My rant was incited by the issue arising numerous days in a row, more than once a day, but it has been simmering for about 10 years.

If you think this isn't the proper forum for my post, I would draw your attention to how there's a category for "bitching," and that's just what I'm doing. In real life, I politely decline the candy, and my children calmly accept their mother's rule. So please rest easy that I'm not a horrible mother; I know some of you are really worried, especially Bad Cat!, who implied I'm not a "normal human being." Harsh. I found the comparison to your dog not getting a treat amusing in its irrelevancy. Also, the suggestion that I save all this garbage candy for some special occasion — that was funny, too.

Andrew O

about 8 years ago

Thank God my parents were not like some of you here...  And why would anyone care about where you run errands or that you have all this time as a freelance douche that hates candy for their kids?  This thread makes me want to start one bitching about the people who support this thread.  

If this is an issue you need to look around your tiny child/errand world and see all of the real problems to bitch about.  

Teachers give your kid candy before a test and you complain?  Some people who are in their 60s and female offer your kid candy and you attack them.  You are a douche if you don't see people going a little out of their way to brighten a child's day.  The candy from an old lady is more to get the kid to remember to be polite and it is an elder reaching out to a child.  It is sad that you focus on the candy and not the gesture.  I would bet a lot of those old ladies spend their own money to buy that candy... The teachers too, to help your kid score higher or reward good behavior so you can sit with your PBR or growler and brag about your little genius because they did well on their ITBS testing and ranked a grade higher.    

To those who give candy, don't stop.  There is always someone on PDD complaining about the dumbest of things. Who can forget the  annoying "Critical Mass" people who think they own the road too?  

The funniest thing about this thread is that the thread starter sees the problem as the candy, but then people bring their kids into the liquor store with them.  What a joke...

udarnik

about 8 years ago

I like to let them pick out their own shooters.  It distracts them from the candy when we're at checkout, so it's win-win.

Claire

about 8 years ago

Christ, Andrew, there's a **big** difference between taking a kid along to the liquor store to pick up some adult beverages and giving your kid some of that adult beverage!

The nuns at my elementary school were more likely to slap our hands with rulers than give us candy -- and my siblings and I did pretty damn well without any sugar rushes before testing. 

Candy --and pop too --- should not be dispensed in schools. Ironically, ISD 709 teachers won't even give a kid with a headache an aspirin w/o parental permission, but think it's OK to load 'em up with sugar before NCLB testing and other occasions.

Danny G

about 8 years ago

The "nun" thing explains a lot.  Seriously.

This thread is almost to the point of taking the number 2 slot in my "Top 3 Favorite PDD Threads of All Time" list.

Andrew O

about 8 years ago

Claire - I had nuns who spanked you if you didn't have your homework done in front of the entire class and I once got slapped across the face by Sister Theresa for talking during an ITBS test in 2nd grade. 

Those days are gone though.  If a teacher hit a kid they would be sued and tossed in jail.  So teachers are forced to find other ways of reinforce good behavior and lower the amount of punishing for bad behavior.  Candy can be a nice gesture from a teacher trying to reinforce good behavior unlike the old days where kids were beat to stop bad behavior.  It also has been proven with testing scores.

**Liquor stores** How can someone be so mad about what candy represents to their child and then not feel that having them walk through a liquor store would have no effect?  It doesn't make sense to me.

Danny G

about 8 years ago

My old man once told me he got spanked by a nun for throwing up in class.  He also likes candy.  Connection?

Beverly

about 8 years ago

I rescind the part about women in their 60s because stereotyping should be avoided. It has been a personal observation that this group of people is more likely to offer, and even hand my kids candy directly — candy which I then decline — but I shouldn't be painting with such a wide brush. What I was implying by pointing out a generation gap is that decades ago, children weren't surrounded by candy as much as they are today. I wonder if some people, perhaps older people especially, think they're helping in an "it takes a village" kind of way, to give kids these treats. My argument, from the point of view of a parent, is that it isn't helping. It's making my job as a parent more difficult. I'm not throwing my hands up, crying for help because I can't handle the situation. I can handle it. But in case you've never given it any thought, I'll tell you again: I really hate it when you offer my kids candy. Try to understand another person's point of view.

Everybody

about 8 years ago

Danny G: Nobody cares. Seriously.

Paul Lundgren

about 8 years ago

Normally PDD moderators would remove comments with name calling, but there is a level of comedy to Andrew O becoming so incensed about someone else being incensed about candy that he has to call her a douche.

As somewhat entertaining as all this commenting is, I just can't understand why so many of you can't let Beverly have her rant. It's not like laws will soon be passed to keep kids from getting candy because of mean ol' Bev. 

I mean really, I don't care whether Beverly's kids eat 700 Dum Dum Pops a day or zero, but she wrote an excellent rant that made me sympathetic to her situation and I give her giant thumbs up for that.

Danny G

about 8 years ago

That just put it over the edge.

Danny's Top 3 Favorite PDD Threads:

3: Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Stolen Lawn Skeleton

2: The Candy Thread (with allusions to pedophilia and underage consumption)

1: The Troll Zone

brian

about 8 years ago

Donut holes at Mt. Royal Fine Foods = dad candy.

nicole

about 8 years ago

Right on, Beverly!  Do the schools really give candy as rewards?  REALLY?  Pizza hut for reading books?  Please tell me you are kidding...  Is that not pure bribery? And that doesn't concern more parents?  School administration should be huge advocates for homeschooling because the last thing they want in their school system is a mom like me.

Andrew O

about 8 years ago

I went too far with name calling and apologize...    

I disagree on this issue because the poster wrote such a long rant about people (mostly old women) giving her child candy.  There also were references to teachers and how horrible it is to give out candy.  I loved those little things as a kid and appreciated the old lady nextdoor while growing up who invited me into her porch with stories and a piece of candy.  

With all of the issues we face how can giving candy to a child be worth a huge rant like that?  How is it bad to offer a child candy as a treat when that candy is usually paid for by the kind person who is offering it?

You can remove my post calling a few posters names, I usually try to not post here and not call people names.  Someone talking about the errands they run is more boring (Twitter) than the damage of offering candy to a child IMO.  

Having someone go off their rocker about giving kids candy and then talk about bringing their kid with them to the liquor store sounds hypocritical in my view if it is all about principle.

wildgoose

about 8 years ago

Danny can you show me the Encyclopedia Brown post I mean link to it?

Bad Cat!

about 8 years ago

A Sister Theresa accused me of making Jesus cry. Maybe it was the same one...?

Danny G

about 8 years ago

wildgoose: http://www.perfectduluthday.com/2010/10/31/an-open-letter-to-a-thief/



Bad Cat!: That last comment was hilarious.  True story?  And if so, what were you doing to allegedly cause JC to cry?  I gots to know.

hbh1

about 8 years ago

Yes, lots and lots of teachers give out candy to children as rewards, and not just during tests. The main issue I take with this is that of course many of these teachers think they're the only ones offering them candy in any given day. But quite often, they are not. It's bubblegum, it's jolly ranchers... It is a rare day when I sub in a classroom where there isn't a giant bag or container of candy behind the desk somewhere. 

And yes, Morgan Park meets the kids *each and every day* first thing in the morning with a candy sale cart. They might sell them at lunch too, but I'm not sure. I'm sure it's a long-standing tradition, and that it raises pennies for the school or boosters in some way. I still find it to be sad. 

On any random day in any middle school or high school in Duluth, the main garbage in the halls is candy and junk food wrappers. Now it might be true that it is included in kids' lunches from home. I don't know. But I suspect that most of it comes from purchases away from parents' eyes. 

Also in any given Duluth classroom, 10-15 percent of the class is *grossly* obese. I'm not talking a little chubby; I'm talking unable to walk without waddling side-to-side and getting out of breath running around. 

Yes, I do think the candy culture is a contributor to this problem.

udarnik

about 8 years ago

That, and all the shooters my kids drink.

udarnik

about 8 years ago

Also, I second what Paul said.

Jadiaz

about 8 years ago

Paul, I understand her post is a rant, but if you are going to rant on a public forum with comments open, you are inviting rants of people with different opinions than yours. No one is denying the OP's original rant, I believe we were all just ranting about a rant we agree or disagree with. On an open forum when you bitch, you invite people to bitch back.

Paul Lundgren

about 8 years ago

Well, I'm certainly not going to rant about Jadiaz ranting about me ranting about Andrew ranting about Bev ranting about candy. That's all I know.

TimK

about 8 years ago

I think PDD needs a new "area." The troll zone works so well for trollish topics, but this one is not quite there. Maybe we need a separate Rant Zone?

Everybody

about 8 years ago

Andrew, I can totally relate to your stories about power-mad and sadistic nuns. But that's for another thread...

Anyway, do you or do you not have a problem with a (male) school playground supervisor giving his "favorites" (all young girls, maybe 7 or 8) candy at recess? I'm not happy when people give my kid candy in front of me, but I am gracious, accept it, then tell her when she can eat it. But, to give my kid candy behind my back.... Not cool. In this instance -- it was downright creepy.

And Heidi is right. There is an obesity epidemic in this country. You want to give a kid something as a treat, give him or her a tangerine or a pencil, you don't have to give them candy. Hey, ever hear of sugar free gum? Only kind I want my kid chewing. I'd be OK with it if someone gave my kid a stick of sugar free gum... There are alternatives to candy, you know.

pH

about 8 years ago

"Come for the fun, stay for the righteous indignation!"

Claire

about 8 years ago

Nobody still cares. Seriously.

Andrew O

about 8 years ago

I am regretting posting as I am not good at blogging.  

claire: I think it is horrible that a playground guy gives only the girls candy.  What I have learned is that kids sometimes see something as biased when in reality it is not though.  Without meeting the playground guy or observing this you never know.  If someone was favoring one gender then it would be totally wrong.  My experience with kids is that there is usually more to the story than what they perceive (and sometimes how they present it).  Maybe the boys are misbehaving and there are three girls who continually behave properly are getting all the candy and causing some animosity?  

I would have much rather have gotten a piece of candy for being quiet during a test than to have a nun slap me across the face at 8 years old.  The nuns I met later in life were all great women and excellent teachers.  Sure they could break a kid down in seconds with their yelling, but they always cared and were usually justified.  

Those days are gone today... 

I usually stay out of these complaining rants, but with this one I thought, "now someone is ranting about their child being given a free piece of candy... what is the world coming to?"

Next there will be a post about the evils of someone letting their puppy come up to their child to be pet... "Why can't people control their puppies?  This horrible dog owner let their puppy come to my child to get pet, oh the humanity."

Bad Cat!

about 8 years ago

@DannyG: True story.

Here's the gritty details (which is long and boring before it gets to the Jesus weeping part and has absolutely nothing to do with candy):

In 7th grade, I was the unpopular spaz/nerd at a catholic school (which explains a lot). One girl in my grade wrote a fake love note to another girl that was supposed to be from a guy a grade above us. I never saw it, but I heard it was truly raunchy inspired stuff.

The note eventually ends up in the teacher's hands, and they start looking for people to blame. My name gets dropped as the perpetrator (I was on the Catholic school girl's version of The Usual Suspects) and they yank me out of first period to get me to fess up. Their big problem? I knew I didn't do it, and I was stubborn as shit - they were not going to win. All of the teachers spent the whole day tag-team yelling in my face trying to get me admit writing the note. They even got the gym teacher with anger-management issues to yell at me, but I won't budge (at this point, I'm pissed and I'm not going to let them have the win even though gym teacher is so pissed he punches the wall next to me).

Eventually they give up on the bad cop routine and bring out the school principal, Sister Theresa (nun). She sits me down and talks to me about how lying isn't very Christian and Jesus is in heaven crying because of my sin of lying. I get indignant and start doing the neck weaving "oh no you didn't" and tell her that Jesus in fact was not crying and was probably having a good day, because I was not lying. When I didn't crack for good cop routine (god cop?), they gave up and sent me back to class just in time for school to end.
That school was a complete waste of education in so many different respects.

Danny G

about 8 years ago

BAH HA HA HA HA HA.  That is a great story.  My favorite part: "...and tell her that jesus in fact was not crying and was probably having a good day, because I was not lying."

wildgoose

about 8 years ago

I agree with the rant risk around here, Bev.  People love nothing more than to rant along with you unless it is to rant AT you about your rant.  

A month or so I posted something about merging onto the freeway, which I suspect will be my last "rant" because I don't like how these things blow up.  On the other hand, I recently posted something about a genuine local issue worthy of a rant. The post was about land in Duluth being stolen/swindled from Chippewa Chief Buffalo, chief architect of the 1854 Treaty. O thought maybe it would inspire some thoughtful discourse, maybe a little indignation who were discovering this particular injustice alongside me.  Didn't happen. I think it drew 4 comments, 2 of them from me.

B-man

about 8 years ago

Candy is awesome, it seems that children are the biggest problem. maybe joke candy that tasted like dirt randomly mixed in with the rest will weaken the kids attraction to it?  then again maybe not.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1333271/

how about video games?

Andrew (not O)

about 8 years ago

I have nothing to add to this conversation. I just want to be comment No. 100.

mrashley

about 8 years ago

It's elitist attitudes like this that closed down the locally owned Hip Hop Candy Shop on 4th.

Claire

about 8 years ago

I miss the Torke shop, they sold the best candy there. Wayne Torke taught a generation of Duluth children not to be satisfied with the plastic crap that passes as chocolate in this country, but to insist upon the finest Belgian and German chocolates. It's like beer -- go for quality, not quantity.

Jim

about 8 years ago

Who cares if kids get candy or not. After all, isn't it bad for their teeth? On the other paw, don't mess with my damn milk bones. Especially the red ones. I've got ten more pearlies than you and not a spot on em. I credit my red milk bones. Tasty little biscuits of joy. Even better when the lady behind the glass sends them in that little chute.

nicole

about 8 years ago

My kids turn into little devils when filled with sugar.  The same people saying that candy is innocent are probably the same people that are annoyed by those energetic, sugar crazy, tantrum throwing, little brats.  You give them candy, fine...then you get to take care of them too.

Lojasmo

about 8 years ago

Amen.

Barrett:  3x1=3
               3x7=21
               3x30=90

dbb

about 8 years ago

Teachers giving out candy as a reward is nothing. I hear the nurse is giving out adderall.

tamara

about 8 years ago

So... someone made a comment (B-man?) about dirt-flavored candy... I present the good readers of this blog with:

BeanBoozled Jelly Belly jellybeans available at Hepzibah's in Dewitt-Seitz. Weird and nasty flavors mixed with regular ones. Flavors include: 

Canned Dog Food
Chocolate Pudding
Skunk Spray
Licorice
Rotten Egg
Buttered Popcorn
Centipede
Strawberry Jam
Booger
Juicy Pear
Baby Wipes
Coconut
Barf
Peach
Moldy Cheese
Caramel Corn
Pencil Shavings
Top Banana
Toothpaste
Berry Blue

doubledutch

about 8 years ago

Bad Cat! that was a hilarious story.  I can only hope that if one of my kids were falsely accused of something (especially something that stupid) they would be as stubborn and sassy as you.

tamara, this list makes me super happy.  I think my kids need to experience barf flavored jelly beans.  Or skunk spray.  Heck, I want to try that one.

Gary

about 8 years ago

Childhood obesity is out of control in our country.  You start adding up all those little treats and rewards and tell me what that leads to.  Furthermore, that delicious sticky candy causes cavities up the wazoo, especially in little kids.  Those are two excellent reasons to leave the candy where it belongs, on the counter.

TimK

about 8 years ago

The Jelly Belly factory in Kenosha has a gift shop with free samples- including the hideous flavors mentioned above. They offer free tours of the factory for groups, too. From a distance, all you see are big smoke stacks above a super industrial looking landscape- kind of like something out of the Simpsons. When you get close, you see the Jelly Belly logo and realize how wholesome and nutritious their products are...

Bad Cat!

about 8 years ago

When the Harry Potter jelly beans came out, we had a bean-off at work, where people would each pick up a jelly bean and eat it (and eventually chicken out when they encounter "earwax" or something like it). The winner was the person who was either lucky enough to get good-tasting beans, or had an iron gut that outlasted the opponent's.
I cheated my first time by picking the "tutti-fruity" ones (the only one I could identify by sight) and dropped out as soon as those were gone. The second time I played legit and got horseradish my first pick. I walked out and never played again. (BLEH!)

Tom

about 8 years ago

Gary, I only have one cavity up my wazoo.  And I'd sure hope to keep it that way.

ruby2sd4y

about 8 years ago

Is this post for real? 

Oops, guess so, as it was posted April 13th, not April 1st.

Sheesh, some people's kids. Get over yaselves.

...and who walks out of a bean eating contest? ffs. wuss.

also, dontcha kinda wonder who knew enough about what ear wax tasted like to create a replica flavoured bean...hahahaaaaa - somethin's gotta be wrong with that sugar daddy. jus sayin

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