At 5:23 p.m. Saturday I was driving west along Grand Avenue and had to stop for a red light at Central Avenue. A tall, bald guy in a red jacket and black pants started walking across the crosswalk, then stopped and turned to look at the young lady sitting in the car in front of me. He reached for his belt … and … well … what follows is my thought pattern from there.
I think this guy is going to flash this chick. I should get out my camera. Do I have my camera? Yeah, I think I do, but it’s probably too late now anyway.
Yep. He’s showing us his penis. He’s even shaking it.
That’s right, I do have my camera, but I guess I don’t want a picture of this. Too late now anyway.
Should I take a picture of him walking away. Just in case I feel like I need it? Yeah, I probably should.
There sure are a lot of people around right now. That guy didn’t seem too concerned about getting caught. He looked like he’s probably pretty drunk or maybe mentally unstable. I wonder what he’s going to do next? Go buy a burger at McDonald’s? He sure is walking away calmly.
Should I drive around the block and get a better picture of him and see where he’s going? Nah. I’m hungry. I’m going home.
Shoot, I probably should have gone around the block and checked him out. Oh, well.
Should I call the cops and report this? Nah. Someone else probably will. There were a lot of people around.
Actually, I think I will call the cops. It’s not really a big deal that this guy is showing his wiener to people, but I’m kind of concerned about what his next move might be. He seemed to be pretty clearly out of his mind. Maybe a call to the cops will prevent something worse from happening.
Should I post this on Perfect Duluth Day? Nah. That would be a bit sensational and insensitive. On the other hand, sensationalism is fun and anyone who is whipping out his schwantz in traffic has pretty much signed off on his right to privacy.
Yeah, I better post it. Maybe it will help lead to his apprehension and get him back on his medication. At least, that’s what I can say when people crab at me about the sensationalism.
