Maybe a month ago a hole appeared out of nowhere on the avenue in front of our house. Not a pothole mind you, more like a door leading to a banquet hall. I myself have examined it, as well as just about every curious soul in the neighborhood. I’ve even seen people throw their trash in it. At this point it’s roughly a foot in diameter, but opens up into quite a cavernous void directly below the asphalt. My wife can insert her leg up to her hip and fully extend it.
The city hasn’t shown much interest in fixing it, but probably a week ago it did put a fantastic orange warning sign over it, including a blinking light to shout warning to all those who travel along Ninth Avenue East. The problem is, is that the blinking light doesn’t work, nor does the nearest streetlight leaving it an extremely dark corner. The closest lamps are, well, a block away in all directions leaving this marker useless after dark.
Which brings me to the excitement of this eve. The sound of the neighborhood jackanapes knocking over the sign got our attention at around 11:30pm, but I didn’t pay much mind to it as of course, this isn’t the first time some goof pushed over the sign while walking down the street in the extreme darkness trying to impress a chick. What did turn my head was the sound of said sign throwing down fiery fisticuffs with the underbelly of a car not slowing for the yield sign. Plastic shattered, sparks flew, and metal screeched for several blocks before the driver stopped, looked under his car, and then kept driving until what looked like hitting a major pothole or “bump” in the road, dislodging what was left of the sign. I have yet to investigate the corpse, but I’m guessing I will see blaze orange extremities spread over a good 3 blocks on my way to work tomorrow.
After all this time of waiting to see or hear the front end of someone’s vehicle being devoured by the massive darkness beneath the city street it turned out to be a device of warning, placed to protect Duluth’s citizens, that has taken a victim.
And the sinkhole laughs, and waits.
*Writers note: The sign was nowhere to be seen this morning, which is unfortunate because I really wanted to see the carnage. Oh well, I’m sure this isn’t the last time this will happen.
