So, my mom had me look up some Powerball numbers for her this morning. Pretty stupid, right?
After obsessing over my awesome fantasy football team for an hour or so I got down to business.
Turns out that matching two numbers doesn't win you shit, but I got really interested in why the odds of winning the $3 prize (only matching the Powerball) are 1:68.96 instead of 1:42 and clicked on the handy little FAQ link.
The answers I got, to questions I never had and probably never will, kept me laughing for about 15 minutes. Not that the Powerball site's FAQ is all that funny, but it's just WAY more flippant and sarcastic than I was expecting (like, I think someone who might actually be fun to hang out with came up with this) .
WHICH HAS THE BETTER CHANCE OF WINNING: COMPUTER PICKS OR PLAYER PICKS?
About 70% to 80% of purchases are computer picks. About 70% to 80% of winners are computer picks. Perhaps just one of those weird coincidences?
No, actually, fuck that. The Powerball site's FAQ is funny.
Here's another FAQ heading:
HOW COME THE ONLY JACKPOT WINNERS ARE FROM THE [EAST - WEST - NORTH - SOUTH - CITIES - RURAL AREAS]?
HOW COME ONLY [WHITE, BLACK, TALL, SKINNY, YOUNG, OLD] PEOPLE WIN?
I imagine the person who put the FAQ together got really annoyed by all the emails complaining about all the damn coloreds that keep winnin' the powerballs an' why in the heyll is this? Some damned northern cunspeersy, probly.
Old folks too. They're always winning this frickin' thing!
Here's the link.