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Gnome Thieves Disgust Me

We had a little garden gnome on our front "porch" which I just noticed this morning has disappeared. I was somewhat fond of this little guy...and only someone stupidly drunk would consider stealing him. If you happen to see him, please alert me so I can go claim him. Or steal him back for me, if you feel so inclined. I couldn't find a picture online, he was a garage sale purchase from my friend's mom, but he's pretty small, maybe a foot or so, and he has a "bowl" i can't remember if it was an upturned leaf, or mushroom, or what, i assume it's for feeding birds, but I just let it catch rainwater.

Thanks for your help. We miss you, little gnomester.


Stealing garden gnomes brings bad karma. Very bad.

I was bequeathed two gnomes when our neighbor Mrs. Gooder moved to assisted living. These gnomes pre-dated me in this neighborhood. The two brothers Henri and Pierre will cease they're mushroom gathering and search the city for their lost kin. What part of town?

Baci, Henri, & Pierre -
Our gnome was last seen in the area of eastern hillside, on N. 16th Ave E. Thanks for your well wishes and help.

Mel, Baci, Pierre, & Henri,

I, Gnome Benedict Cumberpatch, will join in the search with Pierre and Henri! Rendezvous at the Fortress of Gnomeitude!

-GBC (tamara typed this because I couldn't reach the keypad and my hands are somehow stuck in my pockets.)

I think that you have cried foul too quickly Mel. These gnomes are well known to take flights of fancy from time to time. There is extensive photographic evidence of these journeys. I think you should consider the possibility that maybe your gnomester got a case of the wandering feet and split town for some well needed adventure.

Gnome Rogues are often problematic and ill-represent our people. And that's why I play a Gnome Mage!

Based on your description, I picked up 50 or so gnomes from yards around the city. Yours is probably in there. Where should I dump them off?

Owning a garden gnome and expecting it not to get stolen is a little like owning a Hummer and expecting it not to get keyed.

It's a bummer to have things pinched from your yard.I'm sure you feel pretty darn violated.

What color was your gnome's attire?

I have sent our two sentry gnomes, Peter and Harold, on a reconnaissance mission. They gnow your gnome well from the neighborhood parties they threw all summer. I hear they got their beer from the slug traps people put in their yards. Your gnome couldn't hold his liquor, though. By the way, wouldn't 16th Ave. E. be Chester Park? We live at 16th and 7th, and would NEVER admit to living in the "hillside." And one more thing...Is it possible that the stuff that your gnome wandered off in search of adventure after hitting that "bowl" too many times? Gnomes are known to be substance abusers. Seriously, though, I'll keep my eyes peeled.

Yeepers Geepers! Isen hasen been abdoocted! Theres I woosen justa seetin onna da poorch and eelong coomsa dis man unda poots me oon da bag.

Heesa ooskin fer da moonies unda heesa goona set me free.

Pleesa to be helpen me.

So far we have followed a suspicious trail of deflated coors light cans to behind lower chester rink but alas no brother gnomes responded to our whistles and calls. The Albertini's, a chipmunk family which lives in the apple tree on 19th and 5th have offered to spread the word at the next lodge meeting... we'll find our lost friend... fear not , for it is the mind killer

You all have cheered me up a bit despite the loss of my dear friend. Thank you so much for sending out the gnome search party, and the wild animals. I am sure, wherever he is, he would be touched.


Why is your mage spec'd fire when you have more bonus spell power to frost? 3 points into Shatter = 56% crit to frost. Silly gnome.

4 teh Horde!!

Jon, I did my spec rebuild after the patch. I put all my points into arcane and fire on a modified 3 minute mage set up. I have to admit, I'm not an expert at these specs. Where do you see the discrepancy? I don't see it. Your input is welcome!

Oh, and that profile is at least 3 levels out of date now.

Foul, I cry! Foul!

Gnomester is not your friend, he is Jar-Jar Binks posing as a Gnome to get more screentime!

As a representative of Gnomes everywhere, go back into the Foul Abyss from whence you came, Jar-Jar!

(A side note to Mel: I never made it to the Fortress of Gnomeitude. I was distracted by a lawn ornament depicting a large woman bent over.

However after my, ahem, voyeurism was over, I conducted a search to the Spur on 9th and all I found were piles of Red Bull cans and an empty Phillips Vodka bottle. I will continue over to Chester Creek Bridge and check with the troll under there.)


I didn't know Danny lived under Chester creek bridge...

Bah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!


I was checking out your toon's bonus spell power and it indicated that you had about 10 more points of bonus spell power to frost. I recently reworked my 29 twink mage's spec and I've seen a significant increase in damage with the "shatter" talent being moved up a tier. I've put together a build that would be great for AoE grinding, if that's how you are leveling your gnome.Here is my mage's armory info http://www.wowarmory.com/character-sheet.xml?r=Dragonmaw&n=Asamiweiss


Gnome Slave Owner,

We deplore your treatment of gentle woodland creatures, and your total
disregard for the basic principles of liberty.

Your moral bankruptcy is evidenced by your acts of wanton recklessness
and the deliberate use of coercive force and terror tactics against
gentle and innocent creatures.

It has come to our attention that a Gnome is being held captive in your
garden. We do not, as a rule, negotiate with terrorists, however, we
request that he be released immediately. Already your actions have
prompted copycat offenses, which we have witnessed, including the
deplorable use of a Gnome as a hood ornament.

We understand that you probably were not responsible for the innocent
Gnome's original capture but rather purchased him from a Gnome slave
trafficker like a garden center or craft show. Please understand that
we are not holding you responsible for the state of Gnome slavery in

We are, however, asking you to put an end to your involvement. Do the
responsible thing; free your Gnome today.

FreetheGnomes.com has specially trained caseworkers who will gladly
work with you toward the goal of returning your Gnome to the northern
woodlands from where he came. Please contact us today at
[email protected]

Although American law currently permits you to keep a Gnome in slavery,
we believe it to be morally reprehensible. We hope that upon honest
reflection, you will agree.

Stop Oppressive Gardening. Free the Gnomes.

Jon, I see what you are talking about and I think it's a gear effect. I've been swapping out a lot of gear and that is probably a left over from some item. I don't spend megagold to get my toon dead focused. I like my build and do plenty of dps.

Try TalentChic. And you'll need PoM and AP for a Three-Minute_Mage.

The gnome is probably sitting next to that stolen Obama yard sign.

Adam, don't even remind me of my stolen Obama sign! I am still pissed off and hope that the gnome and the sign are soon recovered.


Gardening IS oppressive according to the Arrogant Worms.



Silly Canadians!!!

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