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An open letter to fortune cookie manufacturers

Dear fortune cookie manufacturers,

If I wanted a small sugary cookie to give me self affirmations, I'd buy a product labeled as "Self Affirmation Cookies." But when the outer wrapper says "Fortune Cookie," I expect to see a glimmer of my future fortunes while I slowly unravel the intricacies of Chinese grammar one word at a time.

Please, take some time and try to get your products & marketing in line.

Concerned customer who already feels good about himself.

Endless stream of sefl affirmation cookies I've received.


In the future, I'll love variety and have a warm heart. But not today. I'd like the fortune cookies to get back to the quirky fortunes. Do these even have lucky numbers on the back?

You will suffer from the terrible fate of all those whom sniff glue.

never trouble trouble til trouble troubles you.

...in bed.

What is someone's fate if they eat the fortune?
The defense was the person did not see the white paper sticking out of the cookies last night before they took a bite? (before stuffing it in their mouth)
It must have read something about fools.

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