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Drama and intrigue in the paint aisle

My sister was in town last week to see me and the house I bought a few months ago. Since she possesses the boldness, decisiveness and sense of style that I lack, we went out to pick paint colors - my first time shopping for paint in years.

I expected to see paint color names like Biscotti and Cranberry Punch. But they went way, way beyond that. Emotions, events, sensationalism... it was as if US Weekly had set up shop in the paint store.

As I went through shades of red and tan, I started to piece together the chronology of a story using only paint color names. Here's what I came up with:

Dreamin' Romance
Touch of Cupid
Suspicious Love
Love You Lots
It's a Girl
Pink Fantasies
Happy Trails

Oh, and there also was a paint color named "Global Warming." Who knew?


So what color was "Global Warming?" I am guessing sort of an orange-red.

"Global Warming" was a red-orange-brown shade. It shared a paint sample strip with Baked Potato, Glazed Donut and Autumn Mist.

i love how there are stories everywhere, although i don't want to think about the narrative thread between global warming and glazed donuts.

you should send this off to http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/

You should add the color of one of my rooms to the mix: Crimson Lips.

I've long been thinking back and forth about "So Mature". It is a shade of green that would offend at least half the people that walk into my house. So I think I'm going with "brownie". And one of my all-time faves is a sage green called "my inner sanctum".

I've often coveted the job of the paint color namer. Also the person that comes up with the titles of production music...huge catalogs of 2:00, 1:30, 1:00, :30 and :15 verstions of the same song all classified by theme, emotion and other "quatifiable" attributes. Who can forget tunes like "Federal Desitny" or "Space Force" or better yet, "Sonju Ad"

From years of painting Snow Ballet has always been one that has stuck in my memory. Generally speaking the names have no real connection to what the actual color is, which is why I prefer to go by the numbers. I've had to many screw up when some homeowner gives me White Dove, when they really meant Dove Wing or maybe Dove White.

The beige color I used to paint my living room walls was selected because it made me laugh. It was called "Head for the Hills", but instead of picturing some nice cabin, I pictured a town in flames with some guy yelling "If you value your lives, head for the hills!".
Another amusing one I found was "Squatter's Rights."

I bought a paint recently called "Lettuce alone" - which I thought was funny because it was for a bathroom. It won out over "baby smile" which is JCrewese for pale yellow.

I used My Inner Sanctum in my bedroom and I love it! My painter now calls it Nancy's Green. However, we can not remember what company makes the color. I don't have the paint or paint chip left. Can anyone remember?

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