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Great Idea

A chunky, 50-ish woman at the Hammond:

"A few years ago I went to Kmart and got a white T-shirt. I brought it home, and then I cut off the sleeves and the collar, and I cropped the bottom of it up real high. Then I went on the internet and copied the Hooter's logo -- you know, the one with the owl? I made an iron-on out of that, but I made it so that it said 'retired' underneath."
"Then I got some of those nipples that go on baby bottles, and I glued them to my bra. My husband said I should have cut off some of my hair and glued it to my crotch area ... that way I'd be a real blonde!"


It just seems so much more realer than real to me at the Kmart.

I saw 2 women on the Terror Train 2 years ago that were dressed in full Green Bay Packers regalia - head to toe - but their green and yellow t-shirts were also cropped and they had taken pantyhose and filled them with a little sand, you know, so they would hang and sway, about 12 inches below the shirt, and there may have been baby bottle nipples involved too - I can't remember I think I blacked out then, from the sheer gloriousity.

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