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Operation: Total Freshness

Nice flower.jpg

Mr. Nice's campaign to restore Duluth's dignity continues to gain momentum in spite of the political dog-and-pony show that occurred yesterday. As a part of the Mr. Nice Campaign's environmental freshness pledge, everyone with loser candidate signs in their yard is encouraged to recycle them - by giving them to the Mr. Nice for Mayor Campaign. Rework them yourself, or, email us that you have a sign to donate. But certainly after today, there should be no Gilbert, Bye, Bergson, Socha or Faye signs anywhere in town, unless they have been repainted to say "Mr. Nice for Mayor." Email [email protected] if you have sign/s destined for the garbage we can come get, or that you have stolen for the candidate. Or, repaint a sign yourself and bring it to Washington Studios for the November 3rd art opening/ultimate campaign rally. All DIY signs will be displayed as art and the winner takes home a CASH PRIZE. And never forget, beneath the cobblestones, the beach!
Official campaign site.


Can you bring freshness to Emerson's basement?

Sir, we are fairly awash in freshness. I would think Emerson might be fertile ground for our campaign's message.

We would appreciate details before you earn our vote.

Oh, you mean THAT kind of freshness. Perhaps a mop? Astroturf and a couple sticks of incense? Somebody throw me a bone here.

We are beginning to suspect that your claims of freshness are empty. If you cannot intuit the type of freshness we require, how are you to lead us on the path to True Freshness? Or is this all just a bunch of hooey?

What is this, the 'Freshness Challenge'? Whether you're talking about throbbing beats, flaming drums, giant doohickeys or simply swabbing the deck so you can feel confident and secure, my campaign has got the freshness! Did you not see that we've just unleashed Operation: Total Freshness ?

I assumed you were talking about 'New Freshness' but then it sounded like maybe you were using the bargain brands.

My campaign represents the final frontier of True Freshness.

Since Mr. Nice is a puppet, I can only assume he is talking about Crescent Freshness.

(let's see if anyone catches that reference)

Don't be fooled by Mr. Nice's claims of New Freshness or Total Freshness!

We each contain the seeds of freshness, we don't need no stinkin' puppet for it.

There are a 1,000 points of freshness.

So, embrace the freshness within?

Does freshness come from a break-open tube?

"Oh shit, your tape is CRESS. The jams are crescent fresh. I'm playing it and I feel SO CRESCENT."

MR. NICE attack Ad #1 (by Mr. B):

B: Mr. Nice is a horrible father for running for mayor. I've heard from good sources that his children are felt up and down almost every day.

Bandwagon: That's why we won't vote for him.

B: He even supports outsourcing of our children.

Bandwagon: His children are made in China! Do you want your children all to be made in China?

B: I promise never to 'finger' puppets. I also would never keep my children in a toy box. I keep them in a real box where they belong.

B: In response to my having a 'wider stance' than Mr. Nice, that is unbelievably wrong. I perch on the potty like a bird. It is fun and relaxing.

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