Minnesota Republicans love Santorum
By Paul Lundgren on Feb 7, 2012 in Current Events, Politics
Considering the definition of “santorum,” there are a lot of opportunities for headline writers tonight. Your suggestions are welcome in the comments.
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Well, since I read Dan Savage’s brilliant take on the Moralist Crusader, I can’t think of him any other way. I have since heard that people have sympathized with him on his bad luck at having as a last name which is also the canonical term for the frothy residue of enthusiastic anal intercourse. It’s lovely that Savage’s locution has been around long enough to be the last word on Rick.
Headlines? “Rick Santorum offers ‘open door’ to Republicans”
“Santorum tops caucus return.”
(You have to read that one out loud for it to work properly.)
Hey, to be fair, the other candidates seem to have sexual innuendo attached to their names in the headlines.
Any news about the CD8 caucuses?
Santorum Surges in the End for Minnesota
Ok.. I stole this from elsewhere:
Obama wants astronauts on an asteroid.
Gingrich wants a state on the moon.
If Santorum runs, the best we can hope for is a little mopping up on Uranus.
Santorum now in a three way with Romney and Gingrich.
You forgot to mention the third person in the three-way, Bret.
By the way, even the Duluth News Tribune is getting in on the fun.
Yuck. How do we swoop it out?
Santorum Comes From Behind for the Win!
Bahahaha!
Romney votes dribble in next to Santorum’s flood.
Here is a recent Dan Savage piece explaining the genesis of “santorum.”
Caucus Fracas Ends with Santorum on Top of the Polls.
This all goes to show that once you’ve got santorum on the ballot paper, it’s very hard to ignore.
Gonna need a towel.
I’ll bet Santorum wishes he could deep-six the wise-cracks.
Just a towel? How about a shop vac?
Santorum comes from behind to cream Romney.
Yes, this headline is real in Georgia, at least online:
Santorum blasts Obama during Cumming rally
By Jerry Gunn Staff
CUMMING -- Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum spoke to an overflow audience at the giant First Redeemer Church in Cumming Sunday night during what was billed as a ‘God and Country’ rally.
How anyone can take a guy who constantly carries the pained expression of a man who has a baseball bat shoved up his ass seriously is beyond me.
What, exactly, is an “Alabama Three-Way?”
I can’t be sure, but I’ve heard it’s a family affair.
This one isn’t perfect for the motif here, but the Onion has summarized the state of things well.